dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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