why didn't you poke me back
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
this just has baby written all over it
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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