i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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