Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
