Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
