were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
