I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
