Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
