Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
