I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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