You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
