She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
