It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
