Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
