I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My ass is underappreciated
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
