Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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