My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
