i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize