so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
