My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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