I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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