We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
