Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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