she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just googled if crying burns calories
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
