i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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