In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
