im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
