I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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