I'm really into asian looking animals
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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