He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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