Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
