the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
