I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
