I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
