Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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