how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
