we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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