when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
