I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
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Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
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It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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