his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
