I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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