Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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