South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
