My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
