i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
