my vag is so smooth its legendary
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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