My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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