i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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