Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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