She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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