Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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