....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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