In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
