nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
