Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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