so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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