I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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