well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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