She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
