We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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