At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
